Sweet Dream - Fat Burned :p

You guys, I just had the best dream ever. I had a dream that when I put on an outfit to go out somewhere and I looked in the mirror and noticed my stomach was totally flat. Not only flat, it was toned and nicer than ever! It felt so real, I was grinning from ear to ear in my dream(I'm pretty sure I was grinning in real life too), and was jumping up and down with joy. I wanted to run outside while screaming with pride and joy, "Look everyone! Look how flat my belly is!!! 

But then I woke up and realized it was only a dream. Darn it! I'm pretty sure I had that dream because I've talked to several women who told me they didn't have a problem losing weight and getting back in shape after their first two children, but with their third, it's been much, much harder and taking a lot longer. And even after you do lose the weight, your stomach is more soft and pudgy than with the first two, or bigger stretch marks, and so forth. So I've been worrying a little bit the past couple of years about whether I'll ever have my previous body back and if not, what the changes will be.  Yes, I'm shallow and vain I guess. I never worried about it before, even with my first two children, and not with the first 5 months of my 3rd pregnancy, but it's been sneaking up on me every once in awhile, especially when I'm looking at swimsuit websites and see amazing, flat, toned stomachs of the models.

 Did your body change after having a baby? Mine sure did, some are good, some are not good, but it definitely changed. Some not so good changes have been what's very common such as hair loss & loss of shine and luster of hair, smaller, not as firm and perky chest, wider rib cage, lack of sleep therefore aging and looking worn out, but some good changes have been a wider hips so my waist to hips ratio is more prominent, giving me more curves, and.... well, that's about it hahaha... 

Everything else has been a negative change(like even though I went back to my normal size with both of my first two pregnancies, all the pants never fit me the same so I had to get all new pants after my first pregnancy. The butt, the hips, the thighs, it all changed somehow so while the waist of the pants size still fit me, it didn't fit the same or flatter my body anymore. Weird, right?) 

But in the end, even if my stomach is going to be pudgier and softer, I might age more, my pants won't fit me the same, those worries are not what I'll be thinking about on my deathbed but instead I will be thinking about how glad I was that I had all my children and how it was worth it all. All of it.

Graduation photos 2

More graduation photos. Thank you to Dewi Nur Dina, Principal of Q-dees Tawau.

Graduation photos

More graduation photos. Qdess Annual Concert 2013. Pictures are from Rayhan's teachers, Siti and Alicia. 

Graduation

My children graduated! Oh, how I love these little caliphs. They never cease to fill me with so much happiness and overwhelming gratitude. Mommy is so proud of you, Rayhan and Iman! 

More graduation pictures soon... I have to gather pictures from other parents or from the pre school as hubby forgot to insert battery pack into the camera! Grrrrrr....!!!!!

Letting go.....

 

I admittedly have a difficult time letting go….of everything.

I am a pack-rat to my core, I keep everything, I am not just a keeper of things but also emotions. I tend to hold on to things, to turn them over in my head examine them, store them away, take them out again reevaluate them, critique how I dealt with them, then put them into long-term storage to dig back out later. This also applies to people, I have a very hard time letting go of people even when it is for the best for me to let them go. I have always been a firm believer that people can in fact change if they want to, the problem being most people don’t want to change or don’t know how. Once I care for someone it is near to impossible for me to let them go.

All these things are serious problems which I need to deal with. I think that the physical accumulation of stuff is the smallest problem. I do not mean smallest in size, because the amount of stuff I have is in no way small, but the least detrimental to me as a person. The emotional baggage, and the inability to let go of people are however emotionally, and mentally draining. This is why I need to learn to let go, I need to tell myself that sometimes giving up is what is best for me. Holding on to negative emotions is in no way good for me, it gives me ammunition for depression, anger, resentment, and guilt which are all things that do not need to be any stronger. I am going to try to start meditating again as I think this helps me clear my head, I have also been debating doing a detox diet which I hear can help not only physically clean your body but  clear out your mind, but I’m not sure I am ready for that yet.

Letting go of people is for me the hardest thing to do. There are people in your life that you never want to  let go of, people who have shaped who you are, but sometimes people have their time in your life and when that time ends….it ends. I do not mean that by letting go of them you love them less or value the time your spent with them less, but perhaps that you realize that everything, even people, have their seasons, and all seasons change and end. Perhaps it is the eternal optimist in me that holds onto people, hoping that tomorrow they will change, that tomorrow they will care equally for me as I do for them. In this way I hold on and hope for them, which it seems usually ends in my disappointment. I suppose the main problem with this is that I do not want to give up on people, especially people who I love and care about, but there must come a time when I cannot give anymore of myself to someone who is not giving anything to me.

So long story short I will be trying to make an effort to evaluate the things, emotions and people in my life and determine what needs to be held onto and what needs to be released. With any luck this will lighten my emotional load which could use a bit of lightning every now and again.

Smile

I think that there is nothing more beautiful than a smile. It's contagious, it's infectious and it fills you up with a strange fuzzy feeling right where your heart is.

So why don't you try this...try smiling at yourself in the mirror while your brushing your teeth. Do you like what you see? Once the action of smiling becomes natural to you try using that smile whenever you meet someone. Perhaps you will inspire the person you meet to smile and hopefully that smile is passed on to someone else.

With so much sadness going on in the world right now, maybe we can take on the responsibility to make things better by injecting a little smile in our lives.

Happy Birthday Mama...

Today is my mom's birthday! Growing up, I always wished I had more money around Mama's (my mom) birthday so I could buy my mom fancy gifts and things she really loved instead of my lame homemade card or a small, simple gift. I felt a little foolish for only being able to give something so little to my mother who's done everything for me and thought, "Oh how she would love to receive a fancy new dress instead of this card I got for her! Or an expensive handbag! One day when I get older and have more money, I will be sure to spoil her with all those things and give her what she would really want for her birthday..." 

Now that I have my own children and I'm older, I realize how wrong I was! The perfect birthday gift is a homemade card or a small, simple gift. That is all I ever want for any occasion of mine whether it's a birthday, Valentine's day, Mother's Day, or an anniversary. Spending money is easy and doesn't require much time, but a thoughtful birthday card or a small thoughtful present (homemade is the best) telling me how much they love and appreciate me? No money could ever buy the happiness, satisfaction, and pride I feel from receiving those gifts. 

 I remember, both Rayhan & Iman made me something in preschool for Mother's Day and while their teachers told them it was to be a surprise, they couldn't contain their excitement so they already let me get a sneak peek and I am so excited to receive it on Mother's Day!  It's the perfect gift and I can't think anything else I'd rather have.

Mama said, all I want is my daughters to be happy, that is the greatest gift.... Awwwww.... Happy Birthday Mama.... Thank you ror always nurturing, teaching, and helping me. May you have a beautiful birthday... I love you...

To be honest...

To be honest with you, you did hurt me. When I chose to stay I felt an excruciating void inside of me terrified of what the world had in store for me. I also felt a huge chunk of my self-esteem was missing, which may took years to reconstruct. I guess we have all experienced this in some way or another but the important thing is that we learn from it and not allow the next person to treat you thing way. Learn from your mistakes. No one judges you if you're learning how to deal with a situation, they start judging you when you make the same mistake again.

To be honest with you, I am terrified. I don't know what is in store for me... O Allah please help me...

Forgive & Forget

 I will never ever forget my pain as long as I live but I forgive as Allah (God) forgave... 

Queen Bitch

This girl G* whom I know has brought upon this sudden urge to express my dislikes and pet peeves. Anyways, it's my blog and I get to say what I like. And hopefully, some of you who are going through the same thing as me will not feel alone anymore and I could make someone else's day...I only hope.

So yes, have you ever noticed that there are different types of girls? Many guys just think that the female species is all made up into one stereotypical race, but I am sorry to say that you are wrong. I have come across many types of women from all walks of life, and man, sometimes women can be scary.

I'm sure these women all have a deep dark psychological explanation for the way they behave, but what amazes me if that they don't even know they are behaving the way they do.

G* is a girl who said she is the best friend or claims to be. The type that kononnya a man will feel completely themselves when they r with her.  When you are a guy and your best friend is a girl, watch out. The same goes if the situation was reversed. No heterosexual couple can remain mutual forever. This so-called "best friend" will sabotage all your relationships until you realise that he/she is the only one there for you. *WARNING* *WARNING* These friendships will never last because one of you always lusts. 

There will always be girls that try to shake your life a little and turn it upside down. Get rid of them. Plant your feet firmly in the ground, look them in the eye and say, "SHOO!"

Dear G*, 

A letter for my man, Julizwan.

To my husband Julizwan,

I am not a perfect wife, I know. I make mistakes, lots of them. I feel like we were definitely happy at times, more happy than I'd been in a long long time in my life. 

If you have already stopped counting, let me remind you, it’s been seven years since that day we promised to cherish each other, to love and to hold, to nourish and to nurture until death do us part. I loved you then and I love you now. I promised Allah that I would love and cherish you, just you, my husband for as long as I live. Allah was convinced that I would help Him give you a good and happy life by loving you. 

 

The kids are growing up fast, so fast that when the day they will choose to leave the house to chase their dreams and carve their own destinies frightens me. At the same time, however, it’s something I anticipate. In my heart of hearts, after all the love and encouragement we’ve showered them with, I would like to know how they’ll fare. With flying colors – I hope. We both know we can’t hold our children back, and when all three of them are on their own, there will be no one left but YOU and ME. 

But yes, InshaaAllah (God willing) there will still be you and me – me snuggling comfortably by your side as I struggle to understand how blades, airplanes, motors and vehicle engines work. Or wincing and trying not to look at the TV screen while Aaron Aziz is being beaten to a pulp. Or me chattering endlessly about houseworks and experiences I’ve had with the children while you listen silently, or until I stop because you have already started snoring.

We’ve had quite a run. Seven years, nowadays, is a feat. And I look forward to spending another seven years of my life with you. 

If you happen to read this, kiss me as soon as you step inside the house.  Hug me tightly like you’ve never done before.  Don’t be scared that I might break. You know how strong I am.  Most of all, tell me as sincerely as you can how much you still love me and how badly you’ve been wanting this chance to patch things up because you can’t live without me. 

I love you so much.  As I end this silly love letter of mine, let me remind you of  two youthful individuals who once felt wonderfully good to be with each other.  There’s so much more that we could still uncover about each other if only we’ll look harder, if we try to be more open, honest and true.

I thank Allah for you, our child, our life, for love, for pain that allowed us to see more clearly, for everything that made us what we are now. I love you for the sake of Allah. You are my man for Dunya & Akhirat, InshaaAllah... 

Thank you for the love and the friendship. 

Love, your wife... XOXO

A wife's prayer...

Bismillah... O Allah! Please grant me my husband Will be the garment for my soul Will satisfy half of my deen And in doing so make me whole Make him righteous and on your path In all he’ll do and say And sprinkle water on me at Fajr Reminding me to pray May he earn from halal sources And spend within his means May he seek Allah’s guidance always To fulfill all his dreams May he always refer to Qur’an and the Sunnah as his moral guide May he thank and appreciate Allah For the woman at his side May he be conscious of his anger And often fast and pray Be charitable and sensitive In every possible way May he honor and protect me And guide me in this life And please Allah! Make me worthy to be his loving wife And finally, O Allah! Make him abundant in love and laughter In taqwa and sincerity... Ameen...

Lesson from life.... 2

I will never stop loving him but I can place that love in a stored away place in my heart, where I don't allow it to control myself anymore. May Allah grant me strength to do that.

Hormonal Shifts of a Pregnant Woman

For a person who does not have first-hand experience with the hormonal shifts of a pregnant woman, it can be hard to believe that it will happen. Some pregnant women are irritable, some yell at their partners, while other expectant mothers are just surly. Some may not have any visible hormonal outbursts at all. My husband has been lucky personally in that I have not had too extreme of an emotional roller coaster while pregnant. I swore at the refrigerator and had a few small hormonal episodes, but nothing too major. Sure, he has gone to bed a few nights and wondered if he would see the light of day, but overall nothing too bad. That said, I would like to share some admissions about my hormones during pregnancy and things I've said or done to my partner during a hormonally charged state. * I yell at him a lot and question everything he does. *I cry every time we argue. And sometimes I get mad at him and start an argument when its not necessary. Then I tell him he needs to not argue back so it doesn't upset me and that makes me cry more. Poor guy! he's so confused...but he understands its my hormones. and when I've calmed down, i explain why. * I cant stand the smell of my husband! Every time he is near me I feel sick (he is very clean so it's not a hygiene thing) but he gets pis*ed of because I do everything to stay away from him when he gets home and I don't know how to tell him. * Even though he did tons of things for me, I STILL yelled at him, and I feel really horrible about it now! I found that if I had problems with other people or just a bad day in general, I took it out on him even though he didn't deserve it. * I LOVE to cry! He wisely said nothing, let me cry it out. I then cried even harder while I apologized for being such a silly, selfish, unreasonable beast. Everyone's experience is different, but expectant fathers should be fully aware that hormones may rear their ugly head at any time during pregnancy. Do keep in mind that pregnancy is a wonderful time and pregnant women are beautiful, so tell her.

How shall we tell our children about Allah? | Questions on Islam

How shall we tell our children about Allah? | Questions on Islam

My child did what?

Everyone does it. Everyone talks about other people’s kids. Mostly, it’s good-natured jokes about bad hair cuts and pot bellies and crooked teeth. But, all of us have to admit, sometimes it’s more. “She’s a tough one” or “He’s a wildcard” or “We steer clear of so-and-so.” Some kids trigger our protective instincts and in the company of a like-minded mother, a small objection to a specific behavior can become a broader critique of character. This will never stop, even between friends. The most honest feedback you can hope for is a factual account of an eye-witnessed event, for instance, “Today after school, I saw your kid smack my kid.” And I know plenty of cases when even this seemingly essential information is withheld. It’s understandable. Nobody wants to tell a parent that their child has been mean, or rude, or bossy since today’s victim is tomorrow’s bully just as today’s mortal enemy is tomorrow’s best buddy. Anyway, who wants to sound like an uptight tattletale? It’s not just kids who want to seem cool and laid back. And most of the time, it’s hearsay. Are you really going to risk seeming holier-than-thou based on the half-baked report of a six year-old? The thing is, if you choose to bite your tongue and give an incomplete report of the playdate—“It was great!” when the truth was “Your kid whacked my kid on the head with a Barbie doll”—then you can’t turn around and tell someone else. If you choose to stay silent, you have to actually stay silent. If you find you just can’t keep it in, the only person you should really talk to is Barbie Swinger’s mom. Even if you’re afraid of how she’ll react. Even if you’re afraid that she’ll, oh I dunno, write a column about it. Giving a parent negative feedback about their child is a small act of courage. Just ask my son's kindie teacher Mrs. Pang who shared some things about my son's behavior that turned me inside-out for 48 hours (during which she was witness to several of my own “areas needing improvement”). Why is it so painful to come face to face with our children’s flaws? In my case, the pain came from two different places. One, it’s unsettling to think that other people can see something that you can’t. Our effectiveness hinges on our ability to see our kids’ clearly. I tried to dismiss Mrs. Pang's reports, believe me, but they were quickly corroborated by two other parents, convincing me that I have been asleep at the wheel, a wheel I thought I had been white-knuckling. After all, just like everyone reading this right now, my children are my top priority. The second cause of my pain? My big fat ego. While my children happily work their way through developmental stages of autonomy, identity and separation, I cling. I realized this last year when my wise friend Susan said, “We are not our children.” Was there ever such a simple and obvious statement with such sweeping implications? Susan went on to say, as I was sharing my theory that my son is hot tempered because my dad is hot tempered too. "Anne, we influence them, we do not make them.” If everything that is said about your child is essentially something said about you--your parenting, your nature--you and your child will be operating at a considerable disadvantage. Attaching your ego to your child--their reputation, their behavior, their happiness--is the exact opposite of lifting them up. It’s putting rocks in their backpack, making everything they do weightier than it needs to be. Beyond that, it’s impossible to see them clearly if they are obscured by a giant mirror showing your reflection. In my life as a mother, this was a growth spurt. This was when I let some blood back into my knuckles. This was the time I decided to stop talking about other people’s kids with anyone but their parents. And this is the time I learned to hear feedback and push past all the rotten self-doubt and defensiveness and just see it for what it is: a little gift.

A reluctant SAHM

Today is Izyan Amani 1st birthday, oh she is our 3rd. I guess some of u didnt know about her arrival because it has been 2 years I didn't update my blog. We were so glad she was here. We agreed she "rounded us out". Three was a nice number - or so I thought. Wan seems to think we have one more child in our future. I just looked at him. Then I said, "Hey, if you can find a way to carry the baby and be primary caregiver for a while - I'm on board". And I meant it. You know, I can't help but be a bit resentful sometimes. Not at him, but in general; how this society is set up for women - especially mothers. As soon as he went back to work, all was well and life was pretty much back to normal for him. How much has his life changed since we had kids? I actually asked him this one time, and he couldn't give me an answer. Other than having 3 young children added to our family - not much. His career is going pretty fucking well. He has a highly coveted and marketable skillset. He still has a social life completely outside of children. He never had a years long pause in his career - never had to put it on hold for anybody. And what about me? I have no career. I've been out of the workforce for 7 years now. Seven. I am thinking of starting school again, or working again, and even with that the kids dictate how fast I can bust through it because I am primary caregiver. Meanwhile he can go hobnob with the bosses, office mates after work because of course I am home. I am always home. He can take as long at work and work as hard as he needs to without worry because again - Wifey is home! Yes, he is bettering our family by bettering his career - but that's what I am trying to do with school or work. And I cannot work on it head-on like I want to. I have no one home for me to pick up the slack; I have no housewife. I have no social life at all outside of kids. No one wants or needs my expertise.  I am with the kids all day every day and I am at my wits end. I am done. Spent. Over it. I'm done putting my life on hold. Dammit, I want something for me and being a stay-at-home-mom and housewife is not it. And the kicker? I "don't have a job" so I am not even contributing to my social security. No 40K. I can only get medical and travel benefits through my employed husband. Now I know what "The invisible work of women" means. So, yeah. Just felt like venting last week. It was just a terrible week. I am feeling like I'm coming down with something,Izyan started the day off with whining and crying like always, demands, demands, demands right from the start, teething toddler who literally cries while following me around the house. Constant fights. More whining. Screaming, crying, wiping snot and ass, cleaning, serving.  And then I picture what Wan is doing at that moment; he sitting with grown-ups who can handle themselves, enjoying a hot cup of coffee (one that doesn't end up being ice cold by the time he gets to finish it) while working. In peace. Hell - he can even sleep if he wants to. If he is busy, he Still doing what he loves to do without feeling guilty. It's just one of those days I guess. Do I have regrets? Sure as hell do. I will give this advice to anyone that asks or even hints at it (especially my own daughter): Unless you know for sure that you want to be a SAHM until death, DO NOT - and I repeat - DO NOT have kids before you have a career, or at least your degree. As a woman you will get stuck staying home with the kids if you are not the breadwinner already. And even if you are the breadwinner or close to it - odds are if you and the father both want someone to stay home, IT WILL BE YOU, woman, because you are just that - a woman. You are the mother and you will have this maternal guilt tugging at your heartstrings. You will have society telling you that's what you should do, and if things are going perfectly at home (father has great paying job and you are financially set) - then dammit that's what you must do.  Do not leave yourself without options. I just hope my children will look back on this time and are thankful I stayed at home with them. Just some advice from someone who has been there, done that, doing it.

A Letter to Remember (by Zuhaini Ismail-my lil sister)

My sister wrote a note for me, words can describe how much I love her... Here, I would like to share it with my readers...

Sometimes when life gets harder and harder everyday, we tend to curse and give up on life..

I want to tell a story about two awesome lady in my life which 'giving up' is not in their book..



The first lady is Asiah Abd Rahman.. 'GARANG', strict, lovable, TOUGH, bold and the most awesome person ever!

Mama, you are a gem of a lady.. She raised my sister and I alone..didn't need any help from anyone.. Its true.. I can still remember we used to live in a small room just 3 of us.. She will go to work and my sister will be the mom for the day..

Its amazing how sometimes I can easily forget the hardships that mama has to go through in raising me and yes she's still taking care of me now!



I used to yelled back at her, argue about how wrong her actions were towards me, made her cry alone at night thinking bout her little girl..



Dear Mama,

I'm sorry mama..never knew how hard it can be being a single parent..I know I've made mistakes here and there..I swear I'm learning from it now.. I'm sorry i made you cry, worried sick about me.. Thank you for standing by me all the time, I learn it the hard way but thank you for showing me the light and guiding me all the way.. Thank you for supporting me and all of my decisions..Thank you for giving me a home, thank you for providing me all that I need.. Thank you for NOT GIVING UP ON ME, thank you everything.. i can never thank you enough mama..

Whatever 'they' said about you, let them be.. They are crazy and there's no room for them to change or even to grow up..You are the greatest and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!



The second lady is my beloved Kak Long Khairani Ismail



We love to argue.. She will always let me win.. how nice.. ;P

Anyhoo, she was my guardian angel.. My secrets?? She knows it all!

When mama had to go to work, kak long will put on a costume and

'tadaaaa' she's MAMA.. Owh how I miss being your little sister kak long.. Kak long was always there, she took care of everything, from the cooking, laundry, feeding me and she even taught me how to ride a bicycle! haha.. I can still remember falling down those stairs riding the bike.. She always stand up for me.. If I did something wrong, she will always take the blame..At night she hugged me and said

'Adik, whatever happens we must stick together..I promise everything will be alright..'

Now shes , married with 2 kids.. Shes an awesome mommy!



Dear Kak Long,

I miss you, I really really do.. I cannot wait for you to come here with my cute nephew and niece..

Thank you so much for being my guardian angel.. You do not know how much I need you in my life..

I still wanna be your little sister..pretty pleaseeeeeee... Owh ya I know I love to argue with you back then.. Its because I didn't understand much about what you have gone through all these while.. Thank you for everything and 'Adik sayang Kak Long.. Banyakkkk sangatttt!!!'

Play Geisha to my Husband

Everyday, my husband takes off his white uniforms n leaves them hanging on the wall hook. I pick them up without complaining and throw them in the washing, along with the dirty clothes that he has discarded on the bedroom floor. Sometimes, after dinner, I bring him a glass of drinks while he vegetates in front of the TV.

To me, they are simple acts of love. I know he's really tired and grumpy at the end of a long work day, and my pottering about helps both of us to unwind. He doesn't reciprocate immediately, but I know that he'll always top up my cash for me and give me a massage when I have a body ache.

But some of my more independent-minded galpals raise their eyebrows when they hear what I do for him. Most just tease me bout how much of a slave I am to him, but some of them are actually indignant that I'm lowering myself to such a level. "Can't he do it for himself?" one gasps. "It's so demeaning - you're spoiling him!" Another tells me, "You gives a wives a bad name."

They think I'm letting the side down if I cook breakfast for him everyday, or occasionally pack his clothes for vacations or out-station works. I should have more self-respect, they say, and if I'm working in the future, I may contribute 50-50 towards the household bills, I shouldn't stoop to doing such meanial tasks.

I can understand where they're coming from. For decades, women have had to fight for everything. We fought to get a vote, we fought to go to work, we fought to get that corner office and we fought for women rights etc...

And our traditional enemy has always been the opposite sex. They're the ones who told us to stay at home, look after the kids and not to bother our pretty heads over complicated things like hedge funds and contra deals.

Woman had to steel themselves to tell their husbands things like, " I'm going to work - you look after the kids'" and "If you're hungry, go microwave something." So now that we've finally achieved what generations of women before us had been fighting for all these years, isn't it a slap in the face to them if a soon to be working woman like me regresses into the traditional wife role now?

Well, yes and no. The difference i that I now have a choice - the women of my great-grandmother's generation didn't. They did whatever their husbands commanded them to do. I, however, pamper my husband of my own free will. He doesn't order me to pick up after him or cook him breakfast. I do it to make his life more comfortable and I'm not above sulking when I feel taken for granted (sometimes i do, but not over the top sulking) hihihi...

In fact, I see spoiling my man as empowering. As the traditional wife, I'm reclaiming some of the softness we lost when we snarled and clawed our way to the top. Like the women in 'Memoirs of the Geisha' have shown, you can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar. Besides, after along day of being a tough as nails working women (soon to be), slipping into old-fashioned wifey mode can feel like putting on a comfortable robe.

I'm not saying it works for everyone. Some women can actually find it stressful having to pander to their husband's needs (I do feel that way kadang2) and more comfortable being the one on the daybed while their guys bring them that glass of water. Their husbands feels that treating their women as princesses is as an act of love, and they would be insulted if their wives refused to accept it graciously.

Besides, housework is only one aspect of a marriage. The woman who's happy to let her husband serve her may also be the one who takes care of all the bills and paperwork and wakes up at 2am to feed the baby. If that's what keeps their marriage solid, who's to say otherwise?

Different couple have different ways of saying "I LOVE YOU" to each other. So please stop making fun of me if I want to play my husband's geisha. After all, I don't say anything about that whip you keep in the kitchen, do I?

A Woman on My Mind

When I was young, I look alike my mom. I was every bit my mother's daughter. You see, this particular type of ownership doesn't lie in outward appearances or is sanctified by a piece of paper. It's in, and from, the heart. Unspoken words, loving hugs and an intuitive relationship told me in more ways than one that my mother was mine and I, hers.

I count myself lucky to have been blessed with an angel who has seen me through many falls and guided me towards many triumphs. But there were lot of sacrifice on her part. Mama has always been the epitome of strength and love in my life. So it came as no surprise that when I embraced motherhood some 3 years ago, I, too, readily signed on for this lifelong commitment - and the most important assignment of my life.

Despite the trials (like when a child hits a high fever), the romantic notions about motherhood have never worn thin. I'm fortunate to have a role model who taught me about the selfless giving mothers are always best noted for. It's this same selflessness that the single mothers in our midst implore. According to writer Jill Churchill, "There's no way to be a perfect mother-but million ways to be a good one".

Single mothers like my mama demonstrate their faithfulness and commitment, day in and day out, on their own. they willingly submit to the prices reward of knowing that the little blessings that come their way - like cherubic smiles and butterfly kisses - are well worth it. They aren't waiting and praying for men who think they should be rewarded jst because they marry a single mother.

The opportunity to influence a child is the most demanding, most heart-rending... and most rewarding job a woman may ever have in her lifetime. Motherhood isn't for the faint-hearted, it is very much an endurance test. even if the thanks she receives are few and far between, it doesn't diminish the importance of what she does. As a mom to Rayhan and Iman, I've made a lot of mistakes too. Though the thank you's haven't flooded in, but I'll settle any time for those quirky grins and sloppy kisses along with the claim of "My Mummy" from my kids.

And as for my mama, after all these years, rather than resist her maternal concerns, I take pleasure in having another chance to hear her voice and call myself her daughter. May the legacy I pass on my children be just as wondrously magical!