Life is like an onion. Each peel of the lovely translucent skin reveals more tender piece inside. The inner layers hold much sweetness, no matter how eye-stinging. But while the onion gets smaller as you peel, life seems to expand as you peel off the layers. Every life changing event force Mama, Hubby and I to peel one layer of our life so the transition to another level or layer of our existence can take place.
How do we cope though? What are our stories? Here we relate our experiences of gaining new perspective, and seeing inner growth.
Mama's story : Adapting to being single again...
Mama is a mother of 3 daughters. She has been single again for slightly more than a decade (now she is married again). She got married in her early twenties and it lasted for a good numbers of years. We were living somewhere in Gombak at the time. She divorced in 1997. They've grown apart and no longer shared the same goals, needs or interests.
Back then, it was a very conservative society and being a divorcee seemed to carry a stigma. She had to adjust to her single status again,hold her head high and ignore the gossip that was circulating. There were few lifestyle adjustments, she had to be more careful with her finances because she had daughters to look after. She realised that she was alone; suddenly being both mum and dad and the nagging fear that her daughters would be traumatised by the divorce troubled her for some time.
The transition was initially difficult. Her goal of owning a place of her own took a backseat. On the social front, she avoided "couple" gatherings. People seemed to feel awkward. She says ruefully: "Maybe they didn't know what to say or maybe they didn't approve of divorcees"
She feels calm now, even if there are times when this fear of the unknown takes over. She was thankful for her father and close friends who supported her decision to end her marriage...
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