Few years ago, a bomb blew my world apart. I discovered that my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) was having an affair. He ended it up but the pain didn't stop. I scrambled to put together the broken pieces of my life but they kept falling apart. We had decided to stay together & work things out, but it wasn't working. I was stressed juggling works & our problems. I couldn't trust him & hated him for what he had done.
One day, I realised that before I could take care of others, I had to take care of myself. I need to see the role I had played in unravelling our relationship. I'm forcing to acknowledge that he wasn't one to blame. I believe that I was a loving, kind & giving person, but maybe that wasn't how I behave toward him. Mmmm... maybe...
I was insecure & we argued a lot. Partners are suppose to nurture, not compete with each other. I had emasculated my man & chosen not to be supportive when I should have. It took a while for me to forgive myself this...
A year later, we eventually break-off. There is no bitterness on my part. I understand that everything that happens is an opportunity for me to learn & grow. In the process of repairing my life, I had found my true place of peace, calm & forgiveness. What happened to me was painful but it helped me change into a better person. That would not have happened if I hadn't realised that the person who needed the most care was ME...
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